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Rooted in Place | Farm-Ed | The First Thirty | Ecdycis Foundation

Hey friends, 

As a mission-driven leader, how do you get your team to work together passionately, harmoniously, and ambitiously?

Well, I found the answer in an unlikely place.

A couple of years ago, my partner and I were working on our relationship. At that time we were relatively new to living with each other and were wrestling with the allocation of domestic duties and responsibilities. Who should take the lead, on what task, at what time, and in what order? We gave it a good go, but we were clumsy, and found ourselves returning to a similar feeling of tension between us, which impacted our ability to do the task at hand.

I’d get annoyed, she’d get annoyed, and the recycling was still cluttering the worktop.

The thing is, we loved each other deeply and neither of us wanted this to happen, yet it is exactly what kept coming.

Adamantly, we believed that the other person was causing the problem and the world could be so much better, if only they just got on board with what we were doing.

Well, you can only do something for so long before realising it's obviously not working. We can only control ourselves, so that’s where I decided to start. How could I go about things in a different way? 

Today, after much forgiveness and persistence, Liv and I work together smoothly, we are both striving for our dreams, and yes, the washing up gets done. For a neurodivergent household, it feels nothing short of miraculous.

Somehow, in our messiness, we stumbled on something that truly worked. Years later, we realised that there was an official name for it: servant leadership.

It is an idea coined in 1970, but it can be found in ancient wisdom from over 2,000 years ago.

Servant leadership is the consciousness of a leader that feels so secure in their own authority that they use it to serve the people who work with them, rather than the other way round. 

When you reframe your purpose as a leader, the rewards to performance are incredible, but more importantly, the rewards to your soul will fill your own heart with hope, and the hearts of those around you.

Today, it doesn’t take long to find an example of the old way of being, you know, those who demand to be on top of the order: a king in his realm - be it a nation, house, or an office. Here, you’ll find the ‘subjects’ are often marginalised, tired, and unhappy. It is commonly a man in this position but not exclusively. 

If we look out at the world, how many still lord it over us? We all see through their bravado. I firmly believe that we are in a time where the foundations of the old world are weakening. An energy that has started to ebb away, albeit with a fierce desperation to cling on and fight for its survival.

In this old way, everyone is out on their own, dog eat dog, striving individually, competing with those above and around them. The new way goes beyond rigid power structures that enables us to raise each other up, together (just imagine that brave new world!).

I believe servant leadership is an idea for whose time has come. 

As the old breaks down and the new has yet to settle in, we feel awkward and conflicted in the messy middle. This is where we keep our eyes ahead, on what we're trying to achieve. For this letter: a team that works together passionately, harmoniously, and ambitiously.

As a leader in your organisation, how can you serve your team in the forgotten and unglamorous places like reception, cleaning, or maintenance? 

For us to spark a transformation, we must adjust our rational mind and expand into the realm of emotion. They come together, but I will start with the mind.

There is one simple word that everything gets built on: trust. For if there is trust, there is safety. Ask any woman and they’ll say safety is an important component to their lived experience. You build trust through the predictability and consideration of your actions.

When you build trust, it establishes community, and with that comes flow, alignment, and understanding. As a team, you share in a commonality, and in today’s individualistic world, remembering what it is to be human, and one that knows what it is to relate, is a beautiful thing.

As that sense of trust, safety, and understanding is built, people feel heard and have a greater chance at becoming a radiant version of themselves. With a secure sense of self, they are stronger and more capable. They feel motivated, ambitious, and passionate.

Seems pretty simple? But the thing is, it has to be authentic, not robotic, or a task to tick off. You genuinely have to open your heart and show that you care and that they matter.   

‘There’s no place for emotions in business!’ I can hear someone cry. I disagree. We are human beings - human beings who are innately emotional (modern advertising is built on that premise). As the machines take further precedence in life, we need to remember what humanness is and love through fellowship is the best place to start.

Do you remember how it felt to receive compassion, respect, or an offer of help? It  triggers something deeper, doesn’t it? Almost like, you want to give that feeling to someone else. It feels that good.

So how do we spark this transformation? 

We never want to admit to ourselves, let alone anyone else, that we were wrong. And the thing is, here, we don’t have to. It is not about words, but about actions. 

We are going to invoke a universal truth, by using reciprocity in what we do.

Humility can manifest in many forms and each team member is truly unique. So how you give to each of them, how you serve, will depend on what they need. That could be as simple as a compliment, or recognition, or as intentional as a plan of action, sometimes all they need is to see that you’re in the trenches with them. 

Observe their needs, and then give. This is about showing how you feel through action.

To humble ourselves and serve those who work for us, triggers the circular momentum of reciprocity. I like to think of a tree. They give more than we could ever know - habitats, food, climate control, nutrient cycling, building materials, just to name a few. They give, give, and give. Because of that, the ecosystem (including ourselves) is alive.

But back at the office, the energy of giving through service grows bigger than what you could possibly comprehend. It builds momentum that goes beyond the sum of its parts. Each person has their own unique sense of being, belonging, and becoming. With that, they will have their own gifts to give. This is now no longer a transactional workforce, but a giving workforce, run on a spirit of shared belonging.

So, this transformation must start somewhere, with someone, a person who is willing to take the leap through the humility of service. As a leader, you’re already well equipped.

That day, when I started to do the washing up and expected nothing in return, I just knew I loved Olivia and our life, and doing the dishes was something that I could do to help us both. One day, I noticed Liv was hoovering. Later that day, in gratitude, I changed the bedsheets. She cooked dinner that night. Years later, here we are.

And our relationship has never been stronger.

If you started today, where would you begin? Who comes to mind as you read this?

Warmly,

Rob 

P.S. There is phenomenal power in the words; ‘I believe in you’. They are seldom spoken, but always heard.

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